So, you fucking asshole, the Heisman, MVP awards, and the HOF are all disrespecting the other players. When it comes to "utter idiocy", YOU win the Heisman, and nobody else was on the ballot. Java was implicitly asking us to choose between Darnold and Helton; to make a choice is not to disrespect anyone, including Helton. You are so fucked up!
More importantly. Who was the last coach to win one?