Kamala Harris -- she will get to the root causes of SC's problems, although anyone on this board knows finding the root causes is about a 5-minute job, which is perfect for her skill set. Bonus -- triple intersectionality.
Alejandro Mayorkas -- he won't actually coach the team on the field but he will do all the pre- and post-game interviews. Perfect guy to look you in the eye and tell you not to believe what you just saw. Imagine how he would explain the Jaxson Dart injury. You thought Art was out on a limb saying UCLA basically beat Fresno State? Wait till you hear Mayorkas tell you how badly SC thumped the Beavers. You'll stand in awe.
Tony Blinken -- not a top contender right now but could rise in the event the AD and admin strike out with the top guys on their list and decide to continue in the Clay Helton tradition. Blinken is the perfect guy to preach soft power.